


There's Bugs In Your Food - A Poem

by lunarlakes



Series: Collected Poems of Someone Who's Just "Weird" With Food. [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Binging, Poetry, Purging, Restricting, Stand Alone, content warning, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:33:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28967628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarlakes/pseuds/lunarlakes
Summary: TRIGGER WARNINGMentions and depictions of binging, vomiting/purging, negative self talk, weight, among other related behaviours. Read at your own risk. If you or anyone you know may feel like you suffer from a poor relationship with food or an Eating Disorder, I strongly advise you to reach out to anyone for support. Stay safe <3
Series: Collected Poems of Someone Who's Just "Weird" With Food. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2125626
Kudos: 2





	There's Bugs In Your Food - A Poem

there's bugs in your food

i binged (again) today.  
i ate and i ate.  
it's like the world stopped  
and there's no other way to compensate.

i felt disgusting  
like a pig.  
i hate using that term.  
it implies that i am at least worthy of a living form.

i'll assess the damage,  
go to the scale, try to purge.  
but these damn fingers aren't long enough,  
and i choke so hard my throat burns.  
nothing ever comes up though,  
just spit and sludgy slime.  
so i'll wash my hands-  
my face,  
and watch myself rapidly decline.

the scale goes up and down,  
those same three pounds.  
nothing ever changes, this i am aware of.  
yet i still plague myself, continually judging.

restrict, exercise, nitpick.  
i tried, i failed, it happened all too quick.  
i want this to be over, stop being a fucking weirdo.  
"days since last binge" go from three back to zero.

some days i'm alright,  
i think i look okay.  
even after my binge,  
"hey, you can still kind of see my ribcage!"

but no.  
it's not good enough,  
must be skin and bones.  
why?  
sigh...

i don't even know.

**Author's Note:**

> This was really therapeutic for me to write and it just sort of wrote itself. Despite the upsetting topic of the poem, I am really proud of it. No, I haven't been diagnosed with any eating disorder and I'm not sure if I actually have one? I've just had a very bad relationship with food for the last three or so years.


End file.
